You know you're too old to gig when…

You know you’re too old to gig when:

   Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie.

   You need your glasses to see your amp settings.

   It becomes more important to find a place onstage for your box fan, than your amp.

  You refuse to play out of tune.

  Your fans have left by 10:30 p.m.

  All you want from groupies is a foot massage.

  Your aftershow party is at the International House of Pancakes.

  You love taking the elevator because you can sing along to most of your playlist.

  You hire band members for their values instead of their talent.

  You’ve lost the directions to the gig.

  You’ve thrown out your back jumping off the stage.

  You’re thrilled to have New Year’s Eve off.

  The waitress is your daughter.

  You stop the set because your bottle of Ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.

  Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.

  You find your drink tokens from last month’s gig in your guitar case.

  You refuse to play without earplugs.

   You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 p.m. instead of 9:30  p.m.

  You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.

  You’re related to at least one other member of the band.

  You need a nap before the gig.

  You don’t let anyone “sit in.”

  After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.

  During the breaks, you now go to your van to lay down.

  You prefer a music stand with a light.

  You don’t recover until Tuesday afternoon.

  You can’t operate without a set list.

  You can’t remember lyrics you’ve been singing since the song first came out – on vinyl with a     
  big hole in the middle.

  But too old to gig?? I don’t think so!! We’re just starting to get REALLY GOOD! is it time    
for my nap now?

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